The Fifth River: Quest for Eden Book Two
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Aru Shah and the End of Time: A Pandava Novel, Book 1. Flawed but fascinating modern spin on Indian mythology. Gripping historical adventure aboard a gigantic train. The Box and the Dragonfly: The Keepers, Book 1. Twisty brainteaser of a fantasy is a keeper. Brilliant tale of girl's enchanted-woods search for friend. The Dark Is Rising. Classic fantasy is a bit slow, but enthralling. Reluctant monster hunter steps up in clever, funny fantasy.
The Eden Project – In search of the Magical Other: James Hollis
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It explains how the concept of the Other manifests in an emotionally intimate relationship, and why it manifests through our projections. The focus of relationship dynamic according to Jung and Hollis is that wholeness and individuation is the goal, and it depends largely on my relationship with myself.
Transformation and Individuation through relationship is the true purpose of our Soul. If one is familiar with the Jungian term of Projection, Hollis further explains how this specific dynamic of the psyche causes so much trouble in relationships. So that a relationship can begin in one place and evolve to quite another. We experience a subject-object split after birth.
The ego that springs from this, is fragile. The Self is the mystery of who we are — Jung. It is not an object or a goal, it is an activity, a process. The child experiences bonding, or lack thereof, as an extrapolated statement about the world at large. Is it reliable, protective, or is it unpredictable, even hurtful. This is how we lose our sense of having power, and we go on to believing that we are not responsible for our inner world.
And we become masters in using all kinds of adaptive strategies in the hope of restoring this sense of a lost connection. The question is, do we have the courage to look within? Projections and the Magical Other: How the Magical Other manifests in an emotionally intimate relationship, and why.
We approach relationship with the fantasy that there is a Magical Other out there who will fill all our voids and meet all our needs. We unconsciously project this fantasy onto our partner. Eros… as energy…is always going somewhere, seeking to connect, to fill in…our psyche is terrified by emptiness…psychic energy is… recreating in order to fill the lacunae.
But we would rather not think of love in this way.
Things That Fall
It does not seem romantic. What we do not know about ourselves — and we cannot, ever know much at all — will be projected onto the outer world. Otherwise disappointment and the feeling that our needs have not been met, will cause us to exit our relationships. The Inner Dynamic of Projection 46 This section introduces the concept of Projection in more detail and illuminates the trouble it causes. So without any further ado, let the grand illusion called, Projection begin. The diagram on page 47 illustrates the directions in which energy flows between two people in a love relationship.
When the Other is not there for me, or spurns me, or I feel blocked by extraneous forces, I suffer a loss of the sense of self. Withdrawing Projections 51 The humbling and courageous task of withdrawing our projection. Marie-Louise von Franz describes the five fold process as follows.
The withdrawal of our projection is the process of putting the broken-off pieces of our psychic back together again. In an intimate relationship; one can recognise projection in a physical way; it is known by the type of energy it generates; it is always disproportionate to the situation. Instead, we should ask ourselves: Of every projection I must ask: What does this say about me.
If the Other does not frustrate me, disappoint me, refuse to meet my needs so to speak, I would not get the message that the solutions lies in myself. Conversation is the bridge. Transformation and Individuation is the goal. It is about transformation. Love is wanting the Other to be. Hollis makes it clear that the process of discovering the nature of my relationship with my self is key to having a successful relationship. Dialogue with the Other; transformation and wholeness through relationship is central to what coupling should be about.
Controlling or passive-aggressive behaviour is an example of this defence mechanism. We are motivated by our fears that drive our false sense of self even deeper into our psyche. To say, I will withdraw my projection expectation of you and allow you to be separate from me, and I will not blame you for my discomfort.
We carry our entire personal history within us. We make the unconscious conscious by examining our patterns, not only in the present but in our whole history of relationships.
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Narcissistic manipulation, passive-aggressive withdrawal, disengagement, violence, aggression p. What a profound disappointment… we are alone, and on the road. Being there for each other now takes on a whole new meaning, i. We always carry that frightened child within, and the power of the adult we seek to become must be balanced against the demands of the child.
A way of relating to another person which is transformative. One always has a choice — even if a complex communicates its message to me that I am powerless and that the pain will annihilate me, I still have a choice. He tried to do this at all costs as a child, but never succeeded. His unconscious agenda was to make himself so valuable to each of these women that they would need him…and yet he refused commitment for therein lay the profound abyss of his childhood fear of being abandoned.
Stephen had to acknowledge that fact that the sexual act is an intimate communion in order to integrate his sexuality into his being.